@misfarber: Pigeon: the distance a pig travels in one eon
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rebrafsim: [leaving Hooters] Wife: you thought there’d be owls Me: *wiping away one tear* of course not don’t be ridiculous
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If I knew you in high school and your Facebook profile picture is a baby I'll assume you're Benjamin Button and unfriend you.
@Midgetspar: It's too bad u can't safely fill babies with helium. How cute would that be to look up and see hundreds of floating, chubby, happy, babies.
@TheAlexNevil: 5: Daddy, can we go get ice cream? Me: I don't see why not. 5: Mommy said I couldn't. M: Hey, there's the why not.