@timdonakowski: Pillow fights didn't last as long in the Stone Age.
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@plethoricjake: As a child whenever I asked my parents to close the closet at night they always said. "Why? Anything that could kill you can open that door"
@IamEnidColeslaw: if we know your religion, stance on gun control & how many kids you have just by looking at your car, you have way too many bumper stickers
@robdelaney: Tim Cook announces iPhone charger cord to be long enough to reach a socket, Apple stock price quadruples.
@timdonakowski: Someone needs to break it to my cat that she is not a security guard and my bathroom is not a VIP section.