@gorrdano: Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker "Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."
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@mattgallo123: House arrest? You mean permission to excuse myself from social interaction? Oh no, judge. Please don't.
@shita3yosays: Nice try "unknown" caller, but I don't answer when my family calls so what chance did you think you had?
@PetrickSara: Me: Ok, who got Oreo filling on the couch? Husband: 4: 7: Me: Well... 7: It really could have been any of us. 4: (licks couch)
@LlamaInaTux: Turbulence is when the airplane hits someone's family photos backed up in the cloud.