@gorrdano: Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker "Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."
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@lloydrang: Will I. Am's headstone will read "Will I. Was," completing history's longest set-up to a punchline
@jakehightower34: Evil Scientist: I will turn you three into...A Human Centipede! Hostage 1: No! Hostage 2: Please! No! Me: So...who gets to be the front?
@Cpin42: Umm..I don’t want to be “that inmate,” but could you tell the chef that this needs more salt.