@BrettDruck: It's always the Great Wall of China, but I feel bad for all the other walls in China. They're like "Hey i'm a pretty good wall too."

@Sassafrantz: Him: She's always doing magic tricks Therapist: Is that true? Me: Check your pocket. [he pulls out a piece of paper with 'NO' written on it]

@AnkCoupleTO: [in bed] Her: *seductively whispering* in the mood for a midnight snack? Me: *Oreo crumbs all over my face* I'm way ahead of you

@Mom_Overboard: Him: I'm gonna throw you over my shoulder, carry you into the bedroom, toss you onto the bed, and have my way with you... Me: Ok but on the way to the bedroom, can we swing by the fridge?

@DarzieDAMN: It's not that I accept the Terms and Conditions. It's just that I would rather not spend the rest of my life reading them.