@TribalSpaceCat: PILOT OVER INTERCOM: alright folks, by a show of hands, who has ever made a small and understandable mistake?
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@juliussharpe: A new study shows dolphins have great memory. Memories include "Swam in water" and "Ate".
@michaeljhudson: *dog runs for president* *is asked race sensitive question "The thing is, I don't see color" *crowd goes wild*
@whereami18: Saying no thanks to a CW's offer to hit me with their car so I could take the day off proves decisions shouldn't be made before coffee
@Sal0630: Me: I'm gonna make a salad Her: I think the lettuce went bad [opens fridge] [lettuce flicks a cigarette, hops out & pulls a switch blade]