@NicestHippo: Piracy dates back to the 14th century, when armed criminals boarded ships and viciously watched movies that weren't out yet
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@highwaytohelv: I'm getting concerned that Beyonce never told those single ladies to put their hands down and now there's a bunch of unfed cats out there.
@carlyken: Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?
@MUMSIEesq: 3YO: Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister? ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.