@thesulk: Pizza Hut ad: "Do you want the same old same old, or do you want the original?" Think about these words.
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@TEXASVETERAN: Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified! Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars.
@aaronrand: Man claims world will end Saturday. My producer tried to book him for an interview tomorrow. He said he wasn't available until next week.
@EJGomez: this toddler on the bus said "the wheels on the bus go round & round" & this guy yelled back "no shit Sherlock" & I can't stop clapping?
@onume_: The girl next to me is texting her friend about how there's an annoying guy looking at her phone, lemme show her which emojis to use.