@RegularFred: Pizza is like racism. America didn't invent it, but it's hard to find a country that does it better.
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@Cidisn: *sees a racoon in the neighbor's trash* I won't say anything if you don't. *continues rummaging*
@JesKeepSwimming: "So tell me more about yourse-PUT DOWN MY FRIES IF YOU WANT TO WALK OUT OF HERE WITH ALL 4 LIMBS INTACT." - What not to say on a first date.
@noog: Mirror mirror on the wall, can I call you Jim or something cuz I'm not saying mirror mirror on the wall every time. That's just ridiculous