@KickingAnchors: Pizza will never hurt your feelings.
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@AbbyHasIssues: Manager: Why do you want to work at Comcast? Applicant: I'll get you an answer in about a week. Manager: Brilliant! You're hired.
@Just_Lee_: When I think of you, I touch myself. With my finger. In the back of my throat to help me vomit because you make me nauseous.
@El_nacho_Nigre: If someone catches you doing something inappropriate don't stop, just do it slowly while keeping eye contact.
@ScottLinnen: You really dropped the ball today Ted. You're fired. "Please, no. I can try harder." You operate a wrecking crane, man. People died.