@KickingAnchors: Pizza will never hurt your feelings.
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@bourgeoisalien: Hey, Christianity- what's all the fuss about a virgin anyway? I could be a virgin if I wanted to. But I don't. Because sex. Also? More sex.
@GBRougecity: I don't believe in reincarnation but damn my dog looks like he's trying to crank over a motorcycle while he's sleeping.
@Dutch_50: My One A Day multivitamins actually have directions on the bottle - "Take one multivitamin daily." Hmmm
@indecision: New healthcare plan in case Obamacare is defunded: the entire country pays for hospital bills by cooking meth.