@KickingAnchors: Pizza will never hurt your feelings.
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@mstluvstrinkets: Her: I'm running a little late. M: how many more seconds er I mean yeah sure take your time. Me, trying to play it cool with the babysitter
@david8hughes: "Marines!" "SIR, YES SIR!" "Get ready to deploy at 05:00 sharp--HUGHES WHERE IN THE SHIT ARE YOU GOING!?" "That's too early I quit."
@topaz_kell: [talking to myself in the mirror] "You will not be awkward today." Person: "Hey" Me: "Good. How are you?"
@JackalAnon: So, #Dorners ID was found in San Diego a week ago and then unmelted in the burned down cabin? sounds legit.