@DaHess1: Pizza will never tell you you're fat unless you're high as shit, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
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@FilthyRichmond: People are so nosy, always asking me what I just injected into their neck. Don't worry about it!
@david8hughes: I'm impressed by girls who paint their eyebrows on. How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day? Like what if you find a penny?
@SortaBad: Roses are red Violets are blue Stop clicking your pen when you talk to me Kevin I swear I will murder your face with my tape dispenser
@wendchymes: Fight club but just dueling neighbor's aggressively leaf blowing leaves onto each other's lawns.