@xodeadlykissxo: Place a STUDENT DRIVER sign on top of your car, and suddenly nobody suspects you of drunk driving.
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@kyry5: [Girl's night out] Girl 1: Omg I haven't had sex in so long, I swear I have cobwebs down there Spider-Man's GF: *nervous laugh* HAHA SAME
@turtledumplin: When a cop pulls you over, pull out a map and ask them for directions until they forget that they pulled you over. -me, right now
@hoplesslycrazy: I talk a lot of shit for someone who won't sleep with her feet out from under the covers because of the monsters under the bed.
@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes Watched all Star Wars movies back to back with my friend. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.