@ThatBoyJonah: Placing my signature wherever i go. Because, signature move!
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@heatherjs: Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again.
@pleatedjeans: [house being raided] [swat guy crashes through window, lands on slip n slide I placed there for this exact reason and slides out front door]
@platinum2000: [Confessional Booth] Me: I can't do anything right. Priest: Please get off of my lap.