@OneyeBogey: Plan "T" is going to work out, I have a good feeling about this one.
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@iwearaonesie: wife *buying dinosaur balloons* clerk: Is it someone's birthday? *smiles at toddler* wife: It is clerk: How old? wife: 35
@bridger_w: Every time I think I've parallel parked in a space the size of a shoebox, I get out and find it's the length of two football fields
@joshandbeyond: Dad: There's no use crying over spilled milk son. Me: But dad it was tequila! Dad: What!? *cries immensely*