@dksc4life: Play a fun prank with your kids by hiding a bigger Elf on the Shelf in your house each day so in a few weeks he’s 10 feet tall and they’re absolutely terrified of Christmas.
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@randomlawless: I am NOT just 'a piece of meat' you know. I'm a ribeye steak... a bit fatty, but still quite tasty. Ok, I lied. I'm pork butt.
@wolfpupy: if your newborn baby has a full head of hair that means it is a business baby and is ready to enter the world of finance
@khook32: If this cat doesn't stop trying to lick my plate, we're having Chinese for dinner tomorrow.