@tastefactory: Play Sharknado for an old person and tell them that it's a live news broadcast.
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@Playing_Dad: Wife: OMG the baby just swallowed some Scrabble tiles! Me: Which ones? Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble
@EndhooS: If you legally change your name to 'You're Free to Go' then it's impossible to get arrested.
@RdrJay47: What part of this $7.50 Wal Mart T-shirt makes you think I'd like to see the wine list?