@tastefactory: Play Sharknado for an old person and tell them that it's a live news broadcast.
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@RandiLawson: Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
@dulcetry: I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it's cold" could you tell me more about that
@pinupteacher: [speed dating] Anyway, do you have a baby hedgehog? "No." *I take a deep breath and roll my eyes* [timer beeps]