@Not_a_JesusGirl: Playboy has started a new edition for married men with the same women featuring every month.
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@david8hughes: When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he's homeless or just tired from breakdancing.
@david8hughes: Doctor: ok, just need a urine sample & we're done. Me handing him my boxers: I'm in a rush. Just wring these out.
@Anon_imosity: I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it
@ComedicBust: As soon as I get to a party, I start saying goodbye; that way I'm out of there within 4 hours.