@Brianhopecomedy: Played twister with my kids and now hold the world record for saying, "That's not your left foot" a billion times.
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@LuvPug: If I was a pug, nobody would give me funny looks for slobbering in public or eating food off the floor.
@Jake_Vig: HER: [walks in wearing lingerie] See anything you like? ME: I don’t think that will fit me.
@Eightinchgoat: You're right, strange woman giving me your opinion on having tattoos. I regret them right now because they caused you to talk to me.
@JB1971_: Before I die I want to see a dog run out of a butchers shop with a string of sausages hanging out of its mouth.