@DurtMcHurtt: Playing dodgeball with kids is harder than it looks cause you have to throw them with both hands.
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@Jake_Vig: When someone walks into a room, I like to tap the person next to me and in a loud stage whisper say "Is that who you were telling me about?"
@Izianikapani: "Just dashing to the shops" Woman [showers, washes hair, styles hair, puts on make up, chooses outfit, irons clothes] Man [grabs car keys]
@MomofTeen: Customer Service: How does the name appear on your credit card? Me: If i had to guess, I'd say it's 11 pt. Arial bold.
@iwearaonesie: girlfriend asks you to get wine: You're getting laid wife asks you to get wine: You're getting yelled at