@K_blue: Playing hide and seek in my office building because they can't fire you if they can't find you.
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@FrogAvalanche: *leads horse to water* "You're not gonna drink, are you?" *horse neighs* "It's The Fountain of Eternal Youth." Horse: You're not foaling me.
@trojansauce: *wears one gryffindor and one slytherin sock to work to represent the internal human struggle between good and evil*
@notfaizzy: My neighbours just submitted a petition that I stop setting traps for stray pigs after I caught my 16th police man today.
@SteveSuckington: Lionel Richie: I'm easy like Sunday morning Sunday morning: wow I'm right here