@K_blue: Playing hide and seek in my office building because they can't fire you if they can't find you.
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@pixelatedboat: "Predators are essential for a healthy ecosystem," I explained as I released a bobcat into the airduct
@smedlee: The worst thing about when someone tells you to chillax is what to do with their corpse.
@hipchkk: I keep an extra stash of tampons in my purse to launch at blowhards who punctuate the end of their sentence with the word, "Period!"