@peteholmes: playing too much GTA. starting to see traffic as "options."
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@Kyle_Lippert: It's absurd how none of the chicks at this park are recognizing my swag *puts flip phone back in my fanny pack. Rollerblades away*
@DominicStraw: Your password doesn't remember you either. He moved on. He's someone else's password now.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Celebrity divorce statements remind us of the names they gave their kids. "We want to focus on raising our children, Shoe and Turbo Pickle."