@peteholmes: playing too much GTA. starting to see traffic as "options."
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@Sickayduh: DAD: I want a steak. HER: Eat this chicken instead. It's healthy. DAD: No it isn't. It's dead.
@YayatiSB: My wife said: Pls go to shop & buy a carton of Milk & if they have eggs, get six. I came back with Six cartons of Milk & told they had eggs.
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: [Nudges friend] You should see what I just wrote on the bathroom wall. Friend: Uh... You do know we're at my house right?