@SwirlySkittles: Playing Tubular Bells to end the baptism wasn't quite the closing my aunt was looking for but in my defense it did clear out the church.
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@PJTLynch: Ladies: To see how a guy is in bed, watch him put on a shoe. Does he just cram his foot in? Or does he lick the shoe fully then gently enter
@web_supergirl: coworker asked me if I needed a hug and now he doesn't work here because people that are on fire can't work.
@Vice_Queen: I'm Indian but not "able to read sanskrit" Indian so slow down there Raj, aside from the heart eye emojis I have no idea wtf your DM means.
@daliamalek: Every time someone makes a typo, I look at the location of the letters on the keyboard to consider whether it's justified.