@SwirlySkittles: Playing Tubular Bells to end the baptism wasn't quite the closing my aunt was looking for but in my defense it did clear out the church.
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@AlyssaDiSalle: Do something nice for your ex today, take them out. One bullet should do the trick.
@jonnysun: INVENTOR OF SOUP: [holding water in one hand and sandwich in the other] wat if… wat if water was mor like sandwich
@SadMeterologist: -I heard this dog was chipped. -Microchipped sir. -I don't care how small the chip is, I'm not paying full price.
@ProBirdRights: I been working on my summer bod: it the same as my regular body, but this time more popsackles in it.