@UnluckyBrian: Plays tetris. Gets a circle.
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@theshamingofjay: Waiter: how do you want your burger? Me: *points to girl at another table not taking a picture of her dinner* that rare
@weinerdog4life: How do I stay in shape? I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it
@decentbirthday: Isn't it weird that Greenland is icy and Iceland is where my wife moved when she left me
@Knob_ish: I see the 'pet rocks' are back and fighting too! *Rolls in 6ft diameter granite boulder* *Folds arms, taps foot*