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@UnluckyBrian: Plays tetris. Gets a circle.
@shkeeber: If dolphins are so smart, how come they're never on Jeopardy?
@TheTweetOfGod: Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
@fart: still my fav achewood
Karen, do you have the checkbook? The skywriting guy won't let me out of the plane until he gets his deposit.
@joejwest: DAD: Sorry it's not a pony, honey. Best I could do
LITTLE GIRL: [riding gigantic earthworm] This is Princess Doomtube. She shall be feared