@abhorrent_wife: Please, baseball fans. Enthrall me with complex details about a game where someone hits the ball with a stick and runs around in a circle.
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@jackmackenroth: Lately I've been getting in touch with my inner self. I really need to switch to a better brand of toilet paper.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: He’s starting to stir! Wife: Shhhh. Me: OH MY GOD… Wife: Be quiet. Me: HE’S GOT A KNIFE! Wife: I hate watching cooking shows with you.
@bonehugsnirony: Life is about experiences. First kisses. Books that change you. Self-medication. Dogs telling you to set things on fire.