@kate_smithxx: Please be more careful with your tacos. I just found them in my mouth.
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@QueenofSparta: Do Twitter your way. But don't mention spiders. Or clowns. Or moist. Or moist clown spiders.
@badbanana: If you tell me you're a fan of One Direction, please clarify if you're referring to the boy band or Kim/Kanye's baby.
@CourtneyBale: Sadly, at 8:11 PM Mark Jones was mispronounced dead. [at hospital] Doctor: I'm afraid this man has deed. Am I saying that right? He's deed.