@Overdue_Bills: Please boss, tell us again how important it is the company gets to $3 billion in revenue. I bought an 18 pack of beer with dimes last night.
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@Brianhopecomedy: I have keys on my keychain from the houses I used to live in just in case I'm hungry and in the area.
@LindaInDisguise: Coworker: What was your college major? Me: How to avoid student-loan debt, with a minor in teen pregnancy.
@maisonwithapen: *shitting pants, crying, missing my shoe* yoga instructor: you need to leave me: oh is this not child's pose?