@Michael1979: Please disregard what I said in an earlier tweet. Just learned the ducks in the park are not "free ducks" and you're NOT allowed to take one
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@ThisOneSayz: Me: I found some sunglasses. Got any wallets? Lost&Found: this isn't an exchange Me: *pulls sunglasses back* LF: security! Me: *runs*
@rickolantern: Just got 30 orange oval stickers printed that read NOW HAMSTER FREE I'm putting them on all the meatloaf packages in this supermarket
@Sassafrantz: [first date] Him: You're amazing! I'm having a great time! Me: I will fight you for the rest of this pizza.