@Michael1979: Please disregard what I said in an earlier tweet. Just learned the ducks in the park are not "free ducks" and you're NOT allowed to take one
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@man_spach: When the internet is down I turn my bed into a make-believe boat and play Life of Pi with the cat
@QwertyJones3: [car dealership] "Why is some guy out there screaming insults at all the vehicles?" *Sees sign PRE-OWNED CARS* "Oh."