@ReelQuinn: "Please don't do this." - my voice mail greeting
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@Reverend_Scott: THIS IS THE COPS, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP "No" WE WON'T ASK AGAIN "No" Ok guys, let's go. We can't ask again
@FlyJ_: NyQuil: Because who doesn't like to dream about your cat turning into your dog and your dog taking you for a walk and picking up your poop.
@causticbob: Wife: Hi, did you eat? Me: Did you eat? Wife: Are you copying me? Me: Are you copying me? Wife: I love you! Me: Yes, I already ate
@daemonic3: [interview] What is your greatest strength? "Throwing my voice" You're hired! "Ok great, thanks" Wait I didn't say- oh wow you're good