@BoomBoomBetty: Please don’t exorcise the demon possessing me if it’s really good at things like small engine repair or has a secret recipe for a perfect pie crust.
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@nami_knows: Yesterday my 3 year old had a meltdown & threw her water bottle at our cat. After she calmed down I said, “I don’t think it was very kind to throw your bottle at the cat. Maybe you should apologize.” So she said sorry to the water bottle
@JasonLastname: 1. have a child 2. never mention it on facebook 3. dress it in old-timey clothes and have it stand in the background of all your photos
@Reverend_Scott: Me: Get the tires rotated?? Don't they rotate enough while the car is moving? Mechanic: Omg you're right! What a scam. I truly apologize.
@fro_vo: TEACHER: do you know what estimate means STUDENT: not exactly TEACHER: yes you are right STUDENT: about what TEACHER: also correct STUDENT: …i guess TEACHER: wow you really know your stuff