@b4sage: Please don't feed the Kardashians.
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@NurseSeymour: Hooking up with your ex is a great way to reassure yourself that dying alone wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
@markhoppus: Watching Riverdale with my son has afforded us important discussions like not to lie to the police when your twin brother dies mysteriously.
@GoldenSpirals: A truck just flipped a dead squirrel onto my windshield and it's stuck in my wiper. I guess I don't have to stop to get supper tonight.
@sixthformpoet: The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.