@Eagle_Vision: Please enjoy my "Here's Your Sign" tweet collection, designed to ward off Twitter trolls.
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@BarebakAssassin: The best thing about dating someone with a barbed wire tattoo is knowing that you won't be known as their "worst regret" when you break up.
@BillDixonish: Imagine if every Sunday all your friends decided to only speak in a foreign language. That's how I feel during football season.
@xJLynn: If a dentist makes his money off unheathly teeth,why should I trust a toothbrush 4 out of 5 dentist approve?