@vrunt: please god what the hell did i do to deserve all this *flashback to 12 years ago when i threw a flashbang at my own team in CounterStrike*
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@NicestHippo: She ate poison! We have to make her vomit! [everyone looks at me] [i roll my eyes and start getting naked]
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Why do robbers steal money? Me: So they can buy stuff. 4: Why don’t they just steal the stuff? She’s a criminal mastermind.