@vrunt: please god what the hell did i do to deserve all this *flashback to 12 years ago when i threw a flashbang at my own team in CounterStrike*
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@Prof_Hinkley: Friend: are you ready for our hike? Me: *filling my camelback with french onion soup* just about
@behindyourback: *at my funeral* Friend crying over my casket: look they're burying her in her favorite dress Me, still dead: it haaasss pockets
@Crunch11b: Calm down white moms on dish detergent commercials, no wife is EVER that excited about dishes. Ever.