@ramenfuneral: "please human with me" - bear
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@wittwitbarista: In Seattle, there's a code that states when two people are walking towards each other, the one with the bigger coffee cup passes first.
@NoahJWatkins: "Do you smell the updoc?", I say to my pet bunny. My bunny replies with silence. I know that someday he will say it and I am willing to wait
@thejacquio: Turns out if you scream for no reason long enough, you get the rest of the day off from work.
@TheMichaelRock: I just had a coughing fit and think I accidently created a Nicki Minaj song featuring Ke$ha. Sorry, you guys.