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@ramenfuneral: "please human with me" - bear
@LindaInDisguise: I hope my husband never gets Alzheimer's but if he does, I imagine my favorite part will be saying "I gave you one yesterday."
@JD_KC: Please stop throwing my only possession.
@NoBadHairDays2: A friend asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine.
My response: Oh, about 20 minutes.
@UNTRESOR: Condoleeza Rice's less successful sister is Apartmentleeza Rice.
@theDanLawler: Spoiler alert: Your '97 Nissan Sentra doesn't need one.