@jazmasta: "Please. I need this" I whisper as a 14 year old girl starts to get the better of me in an arm wrestling match.
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@prufrockluvsong: Welcome to IKEA. I see you need a new Fyrkantig for your Dagstorp. Me:How do you pronounce that? *sound of corduroy pants rubbing together
@The_JRM: 5yo: [crying] I teddy at home! He'll be sad that I abandoned them! Me: Want to call him & apologize? 5: You don't have his phone number.
@WilliamAder: Turned off my lights for "earth hour". I've never had so many other cars honking at me.