@jewfacekilla: Please leave a message after the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II soundtrack.
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@NoTrophy4You: When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?"."Not yet," she replied
@ericsshadow: [is being given CPR by my ex girlfriend] "do you know how many heart attacks I had to fake before they sent you."
@jonnysun: JESUS: today im going to walk on water JUDAS: NO DONT-- [jesus walks onto ocean. entire ocean turns to wine. all ocean life dies instamtly]