@KevinFarzad: PLEASE LEAVE CHRIS BROWN ALONE, in the woods, surrounded by a pack of wolves.
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@Alex_N_Chains: Clean tweeting is liberating. You don't need profanity to make a point. Look: Tell her she has beautiful eyes. Female dogs love that poopy.
@corinnemlwsw: Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it's an intervention.
@bingowings14: I tried some Dirty Dancing in a neighbour's herb garden. I had the thyme of my life.
@QwertyJones3: Dentist: Ok, I'm going to start drilling. "Wait! What if I have to poop?" D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."