@KevinFarzad: PLEASE LEAVE CHRIS BROWN ALONE, in the woods, surrounded by a pack of wolves.
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@david8hughes: [baby sitting] "Hey, yeah it's me. No, everything's fine. Just a quick question about his legs." "..." "So how many legs did he have?"
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Don't spit at your sister! 4: I'm a bunny. Me: Bunnies don't spit. 4: I'm an acid-spitting bunny.
@okimstillhungry: Me: Can you hear me? Ouija board: Y-E-S Me: Is it hard to hear me with all the updog? Ouija board: I-W-I-L-L-M-U-R-D-E