@KevinFarzad: PLEASE LEAVE CHRIS BROWN ALONE, in the woods, surrounded by a pack of wolves.
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@DaddyJew: Listening to coworkers try and explain Fight Club to another coworker and all I could think was "we really shouldn't be talking about this".
@heyevergreen: if you take a selfie at a dad's funeral, his hand will rise up out of the casket and give you bunny ears
@AdamBroud: [Truth or Dare] Her: What's your biggest secret? Salazar Slytherin: *sweating* No secrets here haha. Definitely not a chamber full of 'em