@DamienFahey: Please pray for my friends' 4-year-old. They found out today 7 minutes of his life wasn't photographed or videotaped and put on Facebook.
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@ventivodkacran: When someone yells "STOP!" I never know if it's Hammertime or if I should collaborate and listen.
@just1fool: My only real regret in life is not pretending to be a shark in a heavily populated swimming area. But there's still time.
@prttylttleditty: Twitter is where the nerds from highshool shine because we know how to use correct grammar, metaphors, & sarcasm correctly. And we can read.
@Storminika: The rodents in my home are so damn big, they step in the glue traps and wear them like flip-flops around the house.