@SarcasticCharm: Please pray for my friends' 4 yr old. I just found out that ten minutes of his life wasn't photographed or documented on Facebook today.
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@Tmoney68: Yeah, I'm allergic to wheat, but I really like it so I eat it anyway. I'm a real gluten for punishment.
@SondraDeeMe: [job interview] What experience do you have plucking chickens? Me: See all those hairs on my chin? No. Me: Exactly.
@thatdutchperson: Someone rang my doorbell twice this morning, so I guess I'm having lunch behind the couch.
@TheCatWhisprer: If you cut me off in traffic you better be ready to look in your rearview mirror and see me yelling something you can't hear.