@Bob_Janke: Please stop adding noises to your songs that sound like maybe something is wrong with my car.
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@laurajennyjo: *knock knock* Go away I'm not home "I can hear you" I can hear you too..go away "I brought food" What kind of food
@shutupmikeginn: I just walked in on two coworkers crying in a conference room and I was like, "mind if I join?"
@jacob_swift16: Her: I just don't like you, no one does Me: What, why? is it my hair? Her: no Me: MY LOOKS!? Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god
@jimmy_sharpe: Ever accidentally say 'I love you' to important business customers on the phone? Me too. I MEAN ME NEITHER.