@Bob_Janke: Please stop adding noises to your songs that sound like maybe something is wrong with my car.
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@stephenjmolloy: *6 hours of Russian roulette* Me: "I think I forgot to load a bullet in this gun."
@iGreenMonk: Just waved back at someone at the gym who was waving at the person behind me and now I'm looking for a new gym.
@briangaar: If you pull a lizard's tail off, it will grow back. If you pull it off again, the lizard will be like "dude."