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@Home_Halfway: "Please stop being mean" - Me 3 seconds in to a rap battle
@juliussharpe: I don't understand bow ties. What, is your neck a gift?
@birbigs: Alright. It's Sunday. Another Breaking Bad. Or if you don't watch the show, an hour of confusing tweets.
@onion_an: [last day at job]
"You've made my life a misery, I hate you all"
[remembers my car is in the garage and I need a lift]
"Not you tho Phil"
@AlexRogaski: You don't serve tuna do you?
"No sir, we don't serve fish here"
*A family of tuna in fake mustaches whistles innocently at another table*