@Home_Halfway: "Please stop being mean" - Me 3 seconds in to a rap battle
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@bombsydoll: What is WRONG with you??? Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything
@vjraines: Most women want a man who can make them laugh and also feel safe. So basically, a clown ninja. Good to know
@HungoverLawyer: Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do.
@WheelTod: I hate it when you turn up to a Klan rally and some other guy is wearing the same dress.