@hexprax: Please stop inviting me to bars where I have to stand up the whole time I'm not a dairy cow
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@justabloodygame: *Doorbell rings* *it's a regular kid* "Trick or treat!" ...and what are you supposed to be? *removes face, revealing an unending void* ＨＵＭＡＮ
@carlyken: Just remember, every time someone misuses the word "epic" Zooey Deschanel covers another Smiths song on her ukulele.
@mejustbeth: Thought I was having a good hair day. Mother Nature likes to keep my ego in check though. She's really good at that.