@_mindflakes: "Please stop misquoting me on Twitter," said my boss. "It makes me sad because I am a large baby with a stupid haircut"
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@1followernodad: Fun prank: ONLY explain gay marriage to your kids and then watch other people try to explain their weird straight marriages.
@Sanbel11: Every day I learn something new as a parent. Today I learned I can't sit through my daughter's violin recital without a desire to die.