@_mindflakes: "Please stop misquoting me on Twitter," said my boss. "It makes me sad because I am a large baby with a stupid haircut"
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@AlisonAgosti: If Jesus died for our sins then why are there so many popups when i try to watch a movie online illegally
@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Bookstore] Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book* Cashier: How old is your daughter? Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is
@Norsebysw: There can be a guy with neck tattoos and a knife in his hand on the bus and I will still be the last person anyone sits next to.