@_mindflakes: "Please stop misquoting me on Twitter," said my boss. "It makes me sad because I am a large baby with a stupid haircut"
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@Ideal_Victoria: Me: Ugh! I never know what to say in these situations... Friend: You say 'good morning' back
@OfficialBabyGal: Fun game: Take pictures with your camera sound turned up when someone comes into the bathroom stall next to yours.
@KenJennings: "This tweet isn't funny yet. Welp, better remove all the commas and capital letters! Ah, PERFECTION!" --me
@garrettbarry70: Wish I had the confidence of a small child having a meltdown at the shopping mall.