@woodmuffin: Please stop praying for my grandpa u are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their tasers don't work on him :(
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@philco816: There is no way Hollywood could remake Scream for millennials because, none of them would answer the phone.
@Marcmywords2: Kids, you can grow up and be whoever you want ........ it's called identity theft.
@schlimp: Cop: Where were you at the time of the murder? Me: I'd trapped myself in a Tupperware container Cop: Damn, that's an air tight alibi
@shawnspree: Father's Day is the day my wife gets on all fours and lets me do ANYTHING I want to her. I usually lay back and use her as an ottoman.