@woodmuffin: Please stop praying for my grandpa u are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their tasers don't work on him :(
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@LizHackett: Out in public, my husband and I only argue using whale sounds, so it's actually a very calm and soothing experience for people around us.
@usermcuserface: Marty McFly had horrible parents. Sure teenage son, hang around with the weirdo scientist who lives alone and drives a windowless truck.
@AmishPornStar1: I ordered the chick on page 3 in the Victoria's Secret catalog... But all they sent me was her underwear.
@DanielJHannan: Babies are very like governments, you know. Constant appetite at one end, constant mess at the other. And they only ever get bigger.