@AsgardianRose: Please stop putting flyers on my windshield in parking lots. I have no desire to see your new band called "Parking Violation".
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@badbanana: Yeah, well, I didn't exactly want to be late for work today either but it's not like hot wings can shave themselves out of chest hair.
@Wine_Honey1: Pro tip: If you smear your lipstick all over your face like the Joker, people won't talk to you.
@doctorveritas: "It's possible to touch birds!" I say suddenly. My coworkers stare at me. I wander outside to touch some birds.
@IamEnidColeslaw: I tell people my parents are divorced, but technically we lost my mom in a corn maze