@AsgardianRose: Please stop putting flyers on my windshield in parking lots. I have no desire to see your new band called "Parking Violation".
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@seamussaid: I suppose you can take my cold dead hand when you pry it from my warm live one and charge me w/unlawful possession of human remains
@iTweetNShit: $2000 date? We better be sitting at the table with Jay-Z and Obama at the same time while eating dinosaurs & sippin' on virgin Indian tears.
@Tierno158: I invented a game where people get so stoned they can barely walk & chase each other around the yard. It's called...wait for it: Hash Tag.
@hazelmotes1: I like to wear fur coats, but fur is murder, so I just tied 15 live badgers together and this coat is really scratchy and bitey.