@JohnLyonTweets: Please stop sending me sexy photos of yourselves, ladies. You're distracting me while I try to read this book on reverse psychology.
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@neiltyson: Jan 21, 2015: The 1989 film “Back to the Future II” showed life on Oct 21, 2015. So we’ve got 9 Months to invent Flying Cars.
@ryaninco: There's three cop cars in the parking lot of my gym. This might be my last Tweet for a little while.
@jctwritesstuff: I don't discriminate. Love whoever you want. Pansexual is cool with me. I mean, I like pans, I guess. They fry bacon and stuff.
@SarcasticCharm: I now know I drink too much. I walked out on my deck and swear I heard a mosquito yell out to his all his friends that the bar just opened.