@Knob_ish: Please. Stop. Tweeting. Stop. Like. Stop.This.Stop. It. Stop. Looks.stop.Like.stop A stop.Telegram.stop so. Stop. Please. Stop!
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@ericsshadow: If your phone fell in a toilet, you would... 1995: ...leave it, toilets are gross Today: [wrist-deep in urine] BRING ME A BOWL OF RICE NOW
@realHamOnWry: Apparently, the latest gadget used by suicide bombers around the world is a vest completely made of Galaxy Note 7s.
@mdob11: A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.