@Try2StopME: Please take the smartphone away from your pets, they are spamming your Facebook with selfies.
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@shutupmikeginn: So much wasted time in public school, as an adult I've never used cursive, done algebra, or had to remember anything from sex ed.
@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl] Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
@LittleMissZesty: With me, it's not PRIDE that comes before a fall. It's half a bottle of vodka and a coffee table that I forgot existed.