@Try2StopME: Please take the smartphone away from your pets, they are spamming your Facebook with selfies.
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@SamuelHLowe: - Baby, I just want everything to be like it was at the beginning. - When we first met? - No, before that.
@JaneBadall: My son approaches even small chores with the enthusiasm of a POW forced to build a railway bridge over the river Kwai.
@timdonakowski: Naming my daughter "A Relationship" so I don't have to worry about punks wanting to be in her.
@mollymcnearney: Woman cut me off, stole my parking spot. I honked, flipped her off and went into yoga. Woman came into class as the instructor. Namaste.