@afualareine: #PleaseGoToChurch 😂😭
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@geraintgriffith: "This is the fourth lot of bacon to go missing this week. It can only mean one thing." "What's that Sarge?" "Someone's building a pig."
@stephenjmolloy: Ian: "I baked you a pie to say sorry for backing over your cat in my car." Tim: "You did what?!" Ian: "Baked you a pie."
@3sunzzz: Me: Did you finish the banana bread? 16: yep Me: Great, because it was actually a healthy zucchini bread. 16: THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF LIES!
@leyawn: im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason