@ScottWesterfeld: Plot idea: 97% of the world's scientists contrive an environmental crisis, but are exposed by a plucky band of billionaires & oil companies.
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@Dana_Bruno: Wasn't wearing my glasses at the park and bent down to pet some guy's gym bag. How's your night going?!
@Schmoodles: Me: When does karaoke start? Him: Never. Me: But I put my "I ? Karaoke" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever.
@Weird_Rash: If you’ve ever accidentally stepped on a cat’s tail, you’ve seen my wife’s sex face.
@SortaBad: *loses faith in humanity* "this is the type of problem that can only be solved by 13 photos of unlikely animal friendships"