@420blankman: Plot Twist: Africa adopts Angelina Jolie
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@sarcasm_inc: [a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it
@briangaar: If a restaurant can afford to advertise on national television, you should never eat there
@krustythe_klown: Sites that are selling my tweets for money.1. Twitter2. FavStar3. Funny Tweeter <3 you guys!
@ObviousOstrich: If every person in the world held hands around the equator a significant portion of them would drown.