@420blankman: Plot Twist: Africa adopts Angelina Jolie
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@CulturedRuffian: Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead.
@heidi420x: if i could choose one super power right now it would be the ability to delete my number from other people's phones.
@DadandBuried: You'll never know how creative you really are until you need to start lying to your kids.
@jimmytorosian: *Brings axe to slumber party* "Oops. I thought you said 'lumber party'" *Knew the whole time* *Waits until they're asleep* *Chops down tree*