@420blankman: Plot Twist: Africa adopts Angelina Jolie
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@Derrick_Snyder: Twitter: What do our users want? Users: An edit button and relief from spam/abuse. Twitter: Novella-length Tweets it is!
@Sassafrantz: Pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy's phone. All I did was edit his mom's contact. Hope she likes dick pics and booty calls.
@shatty48: Some people are looking for the meaning of life. I'm still looking for the meaning of I licky boom boom down.