@CulturedRuffian: PLOT TWIST: Maybe eating a doughnut wasn't cheating on my diet. Maybe going on a diet was cheating on my doughnuts.
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@KevinBuffalo: Justin Timberlake postponing his Buffalo show Sat. & then going on Fallon is like that time I called in sick & tweeted a selfie on a boat.
@VerbsRProudest: I don't know when the apocalypse will happen. All I know for sure is my son will still have 4th grade math homework due the next day.