@onelongbender: Plot twist: name your pets after passwords.
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@kyry5: [Girl's night out] Girl 1: Omg I haven't had sex in so long, I swear I have cobwebs down there Spider-Man's GF: *nervous laugh* HAHA SAME
@ramblinma: Some days having kids makes it all worthwhile. I haven't experienced any yet, but statistically they're bound to happen at some point.
@Dawn_M_: Do you remember that creepy girl who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
@MadamBetteNoire: Dance like you aren't depressed. Sing like you didn't kill that homeless guy. Love like you don't have herpes.